Fathers

Today is Father's Day and I find myself surrounded by them, and missing the ones who mean a lot in my life.

My dad died in 1985, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him. I was 29 and it was a devastating blow to me. He was a brilliant man, with a photographic memory. He was also a voracious reader and many times I'd find him in his recliner with one of the books from our encyclopedia set in his hand. I don't have a lot of clear memories of the year after he died. I know that I went to work and took care of my boys and my then soldier husband. But not of events that I know had to have happened during that time.

As for that soldier husband, about four years ago two weeks after our 31st wedding anniversary, he took off like a coward after getting caught by the husband of the woman with whom he was having an affair. I miss him less each day and hate him more. He destroyed his sons with other actions related to that woman but not to what he did to me, and has no contact with his youngest. He's missing the lives of his grandchildren who are growing into such wonderfully entertaining people. I've forgiven him and that woman and the others he probably slept with while we were still living together as husband and wife. His ego is such that he can't bring himself to apologize for what he's done. I say this knowing that in those 31 years he apologized to me three times. And you know that he messed up more than 3 times in all those years. He is after all a man.

But I have two sons who are wonderful fathers and I see how involved they are with their children. I have to take credit for that because their dad wasn't involved with them like that. My grandchildren are going to remember this involvement and appreciate it when they have children of their own.

Happy Father's Day to all fathers. Earn that title!